Buy my stuff, y'all

You know you want to. Check out my etsy.com store, featuring some awesome knitted cards... as can be seen below.




Also, I got a job. Gainful employment!

Unemployment Blues

So here I am, back in MS after the holidays with noooo job. I had an idea in my head that perhaps one of the jobs I applied for before I took a month vacation would pull through, but that was not the case. Silly me for thinking that a Master's degree would be the answer to my employment problems! In any case, I've been back in the south for three full days so far (working on the fourth as I type), and I've spent those three days trying to find gainful employment. (Read : I have not applied at the strip joint. Yet. Nor do I hope to have to.) What follows is a step-by-step chronicle of my employment search so far.

Step 1: Do some laundry. Because, you know, if you're going to get a job, you won't have as much time for that anymore, right? Right. Laundry done. Interview-ready outfits clean. That was Monday.

Step 2: Drive to Columbus to use the internet because Tom, the guy who manages YOUR internet, decided to mess it all up and then not answer your e-mails. Thanks, Tom. Spend the day searching frantically through anything that looks like you could do it (waitress, census worker, babysitter? um, no thanks) and compile what feels like a mostly complete list of potential employment. Breathe a sigh of relief, which is followed shortly by a migraine that lasts all afternoon and puts a stop to your application process. That was Tuesday.

Step 3: Go through the entire list and figure out what you will need to do in order to apply for these jobs. Then, start doing those things.

Step 4: Resign yourself to the fact that you might actually have to use your degree. When I got my Bachelor's degree, I had just finished up sixteen weeks of student teaching hell, and so decided not to ever become licensed to teach in the state of MS. Bad decision! A year and a half later, I am shuffling through old paperwork and making trips to campus in order to complete the licensure application packet so that I can hopefully make some money. Steps 3 and 4 were Wednesday.

Step 5: Return to Columbus to use the internet, because Tom is still a biznatch. Tom, if you're reading this, FIX THE DAMN INTERNET. I don't pay you $25 a month for nothing. Hey... maybe I could have Tom's job! Anyway. Step 5 is now, Thursday, and I just finished applying for a sweet secretarial job that I found. The next step is to go take a timed typing test, which should be pretty easy to pass seeing as how I grew up in the age of IM. Then I'm going to apply to Lowe's. And the strip joint. Just kidding.

Chronicles of New Hampshire...

...not to be confused with New Hampshire Chronicle, which is a sometimes-good show that comes on the television up here in Yankee-land.

As I'm sure you will all be incredibly relieved to hear, I did eventually make it to my parents' house after my long, exhausting, and well-documented airport day on Thursday. On my return to the airport on Friday morning at 4:30 in the a. - m. (which, by the way, is ENTIRELY too early to go to the airport, but sacrifices must be made), I boarded my plane with no problems and flew the first leg of my journey to Atlanta. After an only slightly harrowing run-around to figure out which gate my plane was ACTUALLY at, I settled in next to a girl from Georgia who was going to visit her basketball-playing boyfriend at Dartmouth where, she informed me, she had been a student, but left NH to attend community college in Georgia because she didn't like the fact that NH has so much organic food. She likes her food to have flavor, thank you very much. She and I chatted about the merits of flavorful food for a few minutes, but were interrupted by a phone call from my mother, which went something like this:

Me: "Hello?"

Mom: "Where are you?!?!?!"

Me: "Um, in Atlanta, waiting for my plane."

Mom: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN ATLANTA?!?!?! WE HAD AN ICE STORM AND WE DON'T HAVE POWER AND WE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO COME GET YOU!!!!!!!"

(Okay, okay, maybe that's a little bit exaggerated and not fair, but that's what it seemed like to my poor, sleep-deprived mind.)

Me: "Uh... don't worry... see you in a few hours... bye!" *click*

Since my flight was on time, and we were getting ready to board, I didn't think it was necessary to get all worked up about a little bit of ice, so I went ahead and got in line with the rest of the tired-looking NH-bound people. Our plane was not at a real gate (hence my difficulty in finding it), so they loaded us onto one of those airport shuttle buses to drive us out to our plane. That was interesting, considering how many people can fit on a plane vs. how many people can fit on a bus. I won't go into immense detail, but it made the already-grouchy NH people all the more enjoyable once they were packed in like sardines. I found that the attitude remained the same once we actually got on the plane. I was lucky enough to be sitting in the exit row next to the grouchiest man of all, who I made sure to question cheerfully and in great detail about whether or not he felt capable of performing his exit-row duties should we experience some kind of plane emergency. My mother called while I was in the middle of all that, calmer this time, and so I gave her a description of the people on the plane. I have to say, NH people are seriously assholes. I'm trying to remove curse words from my vocabulary, but seriously people, WTL?! (The "L" stands for love. Which is not a curse word yet.) Take a deep breath and try hard to make it look like you're not actually miserable. Life could be so much worse.

So, with this cheer and optimism, I began day two of my trip home.

As the plane began its descent over NH, I realized that I should have stayed down south. From the air, I could see that everything was absolutely coated with ice. Thankfully, the Manchester airport has a heated runway, so landing the plane was not a problem. Once I got into the airport, I discovered that everyone working there had the same attitude as the people on the plane. A little Mexican man who wheeled my dog to me on a dolly informed me that the crate she was in was entirely too small and I was a terrible, inhumane pet owner. By that time, the attitude was catching, so I muttered something unflattering about illegal immigrants and took my dog, who was sleeping happily in the back of her crate. Thankfully, my parents came to get me shortly thereafter with no issue, and after a delicious lunch of Indian buffet (probably my favorite kind of buffet, if I have to rank them), we headed back to their house. It is important to note that all roads lead to my house, really, and there was only one which was passable. Trees and lines were down all over the place, and no one had power. See figure A.


It became more and more obvious as we neared my house that this was not an isolated incident. Nearly all of the area was without power, and the prognosis was not good. That evening, we ended up eating Wendy's for dinner (the line was out the door with people who could not cook), and going to Starbucks so I could charge my phone, my only outlet to the powered, connected world. See figure B, charging my phone in Starbucks sans shower.


Delightful!

To add to all of the fun, I had brought home a suitcase full of dirty laundry, operating under the (ridiculous) assumption that I would be able to wash clothes when I got home. This was, obviously, silly, and I will not do that again. (I wore dirty clothes until Tuesday night, when I had the good sense to wash some underwear at my aunt and uncle's house.)

Saturday night, still without power, I realized that I could take a shower at the storm shelter set up in our middle school. My brother drove me down and I had my first shower in 48 hours. It was delightful. See figure C, a sign on the door of the shelter.

Priorities!

My family was surviving well, as we have a woodstove and a gas stove, so we could cook and heat our house. Saturday night we made chili, and Sunday morning I made toast. See figure D, no-power toast.


Yum!

By the fifth day without power, my family and everyone else was beginning to lose their minds, as evidenced by the newspaper. See figure E.


I made a prediction that it would be two more days without power, and it was. This afternoon, I awoke from a nap to find that my alarm clock was flashing at me to reset it and the Christmas candle in my window was glowing brightly. My family returned to their normal sane selves almost immediately, my mom made a delicious dinner of pork tenderloin with apples, and I wrote this blog.

The forecast for this weekend is at least one foot of snow accumulated before Monday. Say prayers for us that the power stays on this time!

Airport adventuring

After what has seemed like an eternity, I am finally finished with my coursework-- thanks to a couple really, really good friends who made sure I did not lose my mind in the process.

Now I'm sitting in a tiny airport in Northern Mississippi, as I have been for five and a half hours, waiting for my ride to come get me. While this day has not been a success, it has been an adventure. Allow me to break it down for you.

9:45 - I arrive at the airport and get checked in. I am informed that my flight is delayed 15 minutes. The airport people let me keep my dog, and we walk around so she can sniff everyone. She and I are happy; the other passengers are not.

10:00 - Some of my former students arrive at the airport. We talk for a minute, and they attempt to pat Crackers, who forgets her manners and jumps all over them impolitely, so I take her back to security and put her in her crate.

10:45 - My flight is delayed by another hour. Scott, who is waiting with me, and I talk some.

11:30 - Scott leaves for work.

11:45 - The airport people decide that they will buy us pizza so that we will not starve while we wait for this flight.

12:30 - The pizza arrives, and I eat a slice of it in record time.

12:45 - I realize that I will definitely not make my connecting flight, and make a few changes to my itinerary so that I am flying into Boston.

12:50 - I purchase a Mellow Yellow from the drink machine. It gives me a Diet Dr. Pepper.

(One in six wins, but I definitely lost on this one.)

1:45 - I reschedule my flight. Again. The TSA people let me take my dog out of her crate to walk her around again. She tries to jump on some more people, so I put her back in.

2:15 - I download a song on iTunes and check myspace and facebook repeatedly.

2:45 - I check my flight status on Delta.com and realize that attempting to fly today is futile.

2:50 - I go to the desk and reschedule my flight for tomorrow, kicking myself over the fact that I did not do this to begin with and have now wasted an entire day sitting on the airport floor.

3:20 - I sit in GTRA, writing a lame blog and waiting to be picked up while listening to a really, really bad elevator music melody which somehow allowed room for a synthesizer, electric piano, french horn, and bongos to all play at the same time.

3:30 - I publish this blog.

Writing Like Some Kind of Crazy Lady

Three papers to write.

One (mostly) down.

Two (mostly) to go.

I have just proven my ability to perform simple math equations.

On checking my e-mail this evening, I discovered this poem by Tennessee Williams, published after his death (or posthumously, as those in the academic world like it).

WE HAVE NOT LONG TO LOVE

We have not long to love.
Light does not stay.
The tender things are those
we fold away.

Coarse fabrics are the ones
for common wear.
In silence I have watched you
comb your hair.

Intimate the silence,
dim and warm.
I could, but did not, reach
to touch your arm.

I could, but do not, break
that which is still.
(Almost the faintest whisper
would be shrill.)

So moments pass as though
they wished to stay.
We have not long to love.
A night. A day . . . .

Borrowed from

The Collected Poems of Tennessee Williams

By Tennessee Williams, David E Roessel, Nicholas Rand Moschovakis, University of the South, University of the South

Published by New Directions Publishing, 2002

which you may find here.

If I could write like that, I would be so money.

Macaroni and Cheese for One

Some things just should not be eaten as leftovers, and for these things, I am constantly in search of good "recipes for one." Today while writing an SLA paper, I got a craving for some uber cheesy mac and cheese, so I googled it and found a pretty good recipe. With some modifications, it is now baking in my oven.

Here's my recipe:

1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
A pinch of black pepper
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup grated or shredded cheddar cheese (I was probably a little more generous with the cheese)
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
A few shakes of 5th Season Chopped Onions, which can be had for only 50 cents in the spice aisle of Wal-Mart
(Rounded) 1/3 cup pasta shells, cooked and drained
3 Ritz crackers, crushed up

Preheat oven to 350 F.

In a saucepan, melt 1 tablespoon butter; stir in flour, salt and pepper. Whisk in milk until smooth. Cook and stir for 2 minutes. Reduce heat to low. It cooks really quickly, so watch it.

Add the cheese, mustard, Worcestershire sauce and onion; stir until cheese is melted. Turn off heat. Add macaroni. Transfer to a 1 cup (or slightly larger) baking dish. (Those little Corelle-Ware dishes that you wouldn't use for anything but are really cute work wonderfully!)

Sprinkle with crushed up Ritz crackers. If you put them in a Ziploc bag to crush them, you can cut the corner of the bag open and shake them onto the macaroni, which works nicely and does not make much of a mess!

Bake, uncovered, at 350 F. for 10 minutes or until heated through. Enjoy!

I will add a picture at some point.

Thank you, Citigroup

In the five and a half years I have been in college, I have never had a credit card. That might seem strange, but I figured that since I was going to be a student and would be spending money instead of making it, it probably wasn't a good idea to have any more ways to become indebted. But now, I'm graduating in December, and a credit card is a very useful thing, so over the weekend I decided to take the plunge. Saturday morning, I went online and compared credit cards for two hours. (Research, baby.) I found one I liked, the Driver's Elite from Citibank, and decided to fill out the app for it-- however, there was a problem with my app, so I had to call their customer service line.

My call went something like this:

C: Hello, this is Foioweri from Citibank, how mays I helps you?

A: Hi, I'd like to apply for a credit card, but your website won't let me. Help.

C: Hokay, lets me see. Which cardizit?

A: The Driver's Elite.

C: Hokay, I am checkingzit now. Please hold.

...waiting...waiting...waiting...

C: Ma'am?

A: ...Yes?

C: I am veddy sorry but we no longer has dis card. Can I interests you in one of our ozzer cards?

A: No, I've spent two hours researching and this is definitely the card I want. You say you no longer have it?

C: Not on zis line. But you can apply for it online.

A: I did, but your website didn't work.

C: I am veddy sorry ma'am. Perhaps you can tries again later.

A: Sure.

C: Hokay, have a nice day to you.

This morning while reading CNN, I found this: http://money.cnn.com/2008/11/17/news/companies/citigroup/index.htm

I think that pretty accurately explains the situation.

Thanks, Citigroup!