Chronicles of New Hampshire...

...not to be confused with New Hampshire Chronicle, which is a sometimes-good show that comes on the television up here in Yankee-land.

As I'm sure you will all be incredibly relieved to hear, I did eventually make it to my parents' house after my long, exhausting, and well-documented airport day on Thursday. On my return to the airport on Friday morning at 4:30 in the a. - m. (which, by the way, is ENTIRELY too early to go to the airport, but sacrifices must be made), I boarded my plane with no problems and flew the first leg of my journey to Atlanta. After an only slightly harrowing run-around to figure out which gate my plane was ACTUALLY at, I settled in next to a girl from Georgia who was going to visit her basketball-playing boyfriend at Dartmouth where, she informed me, she had been a student, but left NH to attend community college in Georgia because she didn't like the fact that NH has so much organic food. She likes her food to have flavor, thank you very much. She and I chatted about the merits of flavorful food for a few minutes, but were interrupted by a phone call from my mother, which went something like this:

Me: "Hello?"

Mom: "Where are you?!?!?!"

Me: "Um, in Atlanta, waiting for my plane."

Mom: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN ATLANTA?!?!?! WE HAD AN ICE STORM AND WE DON'T HAVE POWER AND WE MIGHT NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO COME GET YOU!!!!!!!"

(Okay, okay, maybe that's a little bit exaggerated and not fair, but that's what it seemed like to my poor, sleep-deprived mind.)

Me: "Uh... don't worry... see you in a few hours... bye!" *click*

Since my flight was on time, and we were getting ready to board, I didn't think it was necessary to get all worked up about a little bit of ice, so I went ahead and got in line with the rest of the tired-looking NH-bound people. Our plane was not at a real gate (hence my difficulty in finding it), so they loaded us onto one of those airport shuttle buses to drive us out to our plane. That was interesting, considering how many people can fit on a plane vs. how many people can fit on a bus. I won't go into immense detail, but it made the already-grouchy NH people all the more enjoyable once they were packed in like sardines. I found that the attitude remained the same once we actually got on the plane. I was lucky enough to be sitting in the exit row next to the grouchiest man of all, who I made sure to question cheerfully and in great detail about whether or not he felt capable of performing his exit-row duties should we experience some kind of plane emergency. My mother called while I was in the middle of all that, calmer this time, and so I gave her a description of the people on the plane. I have to say, NH people are seriously assholes. I'm trying to remove curse words from my vocabulary, but seriously people, WTL?! (The "L" stands for love. Which is not a curse word yet.) Take a deep breath and try hard to make it look like you're not actually miserable. Life could be so much worse.

So, with this cheer and optimism, I began day two of my trip home.

As the plane began its descent over NH, I realized that I should have stayed down south. From the air, I could see that everything was absolutely coated with ice. Thankfully, the Manchester airport has a heated runway, so landing the plane was not a problem. Once I got into the airport, I discovered that everyone working there had the same attitude as the people on the plane. A little Mexican man who wheeled my dog to me on a dolly informed me that the crate she was in was entirely too small and I was a terrible, inhumane pet owner. By that time, the attitude was catching, so I muttered something unflattering about illegal immigrants and took my dog, who was sleeping happily in the back of her crate. Thankfully, my parents came to get me shortly thereafter with no issue, and after a delicious lunch of Indian buffet (probably my favorite kind of buffet, if I have to rank them), we headed back to their house. It is important to note that all roads lead to my house, really, and there was only one which was passable. Trees and lines were down all over the place, and no one had power. See figure A.


It became more and more obvious as we neared my house that this was not an isolated incident. Nearly all of the area was without power, and the prognosis was not good. That evening, we ended up eating Wendy's for dinner (the line was out the door with people who could not cook), and going to Starbucks so I could charge my phone, my only outlet to the powered, connected world. See figure B, charging my phone in Starbucks sans shower.


Delightful!

To add to all of the fun, I had brought home a suitcase full of dirty laundry, operating under the (ridiculous) assumption that I would be able to wash clothes when I got home. This was, obviously, silly, and I will not do that again. (I wore dirty clothes until Tuesday night, when I had the good sense to wash some underwear at my aunt and uncle's house.)

Saturday night, still without power, I realized that I could take a shower at the storm shelter set up in our middle school. My brother drove me down and I had my first shower in 48 hours. It was delightful. See figure C, a sign on the door of the shelter.

Priorities!

My family was surviving well, as we have a woodstove and a gas stove, so we could cook and heat our house. Saturday night we made chili, and Sunday morning I made toast. See figure D, no-power toast.


Yum!

By the fifth day without power, my family and everyone else was beginning to lose their minds, as evidenced by the newspaper. See figure E.


I made a prediction that it would be two more days without power, and it was. This afternoon, I awoke from a nap to find that my alarm clock was flashing at me to reset it and the Christmas candle in my window was glowing brightly. My family returned to their normal sane selves almost immediately, my mom made a delicious dinner of pork tenderloin with apples, and I wrote this blog.

The forecast for this weekend is at least one foot of snow accumulated before Monday. Say prayers for us that the power stays on this time!

Airport adventuring

After what has seemed like an eternity, I am finally finished with my coursework-- thanks to a couple really, really good friends who made sure I did not lose my mind in the process.

Now I'm sitting in a tiny airport in Northern Mississippi, as I have been for five and a half hours, waiting for my ride to come get me. While this day has not been a success, it has been an adventure. Allow me to break it down for you.

9:45 - I arrive at the airport and get checked in. I am informed that my flight is delayed 15 minutes. The airport people let me keep my dog, and we walk around so she can sniff everyone. She and I are happy; the other passengers are not.

10:00 - Some of my former students arrive at the airport. We talk for a minute, and they attempt to pat Crackers, who forgets her manners and jumps all over them impolitely, so I take her back to security and put her in her crate.

10:45 - My flight is delayed by another hour. Scott, who is waiting with me, and I talk some.

11:30 - Scott leaves for work.

11:45 - The airport people decide that they will buy us pizza so that we will not starve while we wait for this flight.

12:30 - The pizza arrives, and I eat a slice of it in record time.

12:45 - I realize that I will definitely not make my connecting flight, and make a few changes to my itinerary so that I am flying into Boston.

12:50 - I purchase a Mellow Yellow from the drink machine. It gives me a Diet Dr. Pepper.

(One in six wins, but I definitely lost on this one.)

1:45 - I reschedule my flight. Again. The TSA people let me take my dog out of her crate to walk her around again. She tries to jump on some more people, so I put her back in.

2:15 - I download a song on iTunes and check myspace and facebook repeatedly.

2:45 - I check my flight status on Delta.com and realize that attempting to fly today is futile.

2:50 - I go to the desk and reschedule my flight for tomorrow, kicking myself over the fact that I did not do this to begin with and have now wasted an entire day sitting on the airport floor.

3:20 - I sit in GTRA, writing a lame blog and waiting to be picked up while listening to a really, really bad elevator music melody which somehow allowed room for a synthesizer, electric piano, french horn, and bongos to all play at the same time.

3:30 - I publish this blog.

Writing Like Some Kind of Crazy Lady

Three papers to write.

One (mostly) down.

Two (mostly) to go.

I have just proven my ability to perform simple math equations.

On checking my e-mail this evening, I discovered this poem by Tennessee Williams, published after his death (or posthumously, as those in the academic world like it).

WE HAVE NOT LONG TO LOVE

We have not long to love.
Light does not stay.
The tender things are those
we fold away.

Coarse fabrics are the ones
for common wear.
In silence I have watched you
comb your hair.

Intimate the silence,
dim and warm.
I could, but did not, reach
to touch your arm.

I could, but do not, break
that which is still.
(Almost the faintest whisper
would be shrill.)

So moments pass as though
they wished to stay.
We have not long to love.
A night. A day . . . .

Borrowed from

The Collected Poems of Tennessee Williams

By Tennessee Williams, David E Roessel, Nicholas Rand Moschovakis, University of the South, University of the South

Published by New Directions Publishing, 2002

which you may find here.

If I could write like that, I would be so money.

Macaroni and Cheese for One

Some things just should not be eaten as leftovers, and for these things, I am constantly in search of good "recipes for one." Today while writing an SLA paper, I got a craving for some uber cheesy mac and cheese, so I googled it and found a pretty good recipe. With some modifications, it is now baking in my oven.

Here's my recipe:

1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
A pinch of black pepper
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup grated or shredded cheddar cheese (I was probably a little more generous with the cheese)
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
A few shakes of 5th Season Chopped Onions, which can be had for only 50 cents in the spice aisle of Wal-Mart
(Rounded) 1/3 cup pasta shells, cooked and drained
3 Ritz crackers, crushed up

Preheat oven to 350 F.

In a saucepan, melt 1 tablespoon butter; stir in flour, salt and pepper. Whisk in milk until smooth. Cook and stir for 2 minutes. Reduce heat to low. It cooks really quickly, so watch it.

Add the cheese, mustard, Worcestershire sauce and onion; stir until cheese is melted. Turn off heat. Add macaroni. Transfer to a 1 cup (or slightly larger) baking dish. (Those little Corelle-Ware dishes that you wouldn't use for anything but are really cute work wonderfully!)

Sprinkle with crushed up Ritz crackers. If you put them in a Ziploc bag to crush them, you can cut the corner of the bag open and shake them onto the macaroni, which works nicely and does not make much of a mess!

Bake, uncovered, at 350 F. for 10 minutes or until heated through. Enjoy!

I will add a picture at some point.

Thank you, Citigroup

In the five and a half years I have been in college, I have never had a credit card. That might seem strange, but I figured that since I was going to be a student and would be spending money instead of making it, it probably wasn't a good idea to have any more ways to become indebted. But now, I'm graduating in December, and a credit card is a very useful thing, so over the weekend I decided to take the plunge. Saturday morning, I went online and compared credit cards for two hours. (Research, baby.) I found one I liked, the Driver's Elite from Citibank, and decided to fill out the app for it-- however, there was a problem with my app, so I had to call their customer service line.

My call went something like this:

C: Hello, this is Foioweri from Citibank, how mays I helps you?

A: Hi, I'd like to apply for a credit card, but your website won't let me. Help.

C: Hokay, lets me see. Which cardizit?

A: The Driver's Elite.

C: Hokay, I am checkingzit now. Please hold.

...waiting...waiting...waiting...

C: Ma'am?

A: ...Yes?

C: I am veddy sorry but we no longer has dis card. Can I interests you in one of our ozzer cards?

A: No, I've spent two hours researching and this is definitely the card I want. You say you no longer have it?

C: Not on zis line. But you can apply for it online.

A: I did, but your website didn't work.

C: I am veddy sorry ma'am. Perhaps you can tries again later.

A: Sure.

C: Hokay, have a nice day to you.

This morning while reading CNN, I found this: http://money.cnn.com/2008/11/17/news/companies/citigroup/index.htm

I think that pretty accurately explains the situation.

Thanks, Citigroup!

past musical obsessions of the week / month / whatever

When I used to blog on myspace, I would sometimes write about music that I had stumbled upon and enjoyed. Here they are, condensed into one neat post for your viewing pleasure.

5. This is a blog about one of my very favorite artists, Sia. Check her out.

4. Jose Gonzalez is a Swedish acoustic artist. His music is soft and soothing, but if you listen carefully to the words, you'll find that his message is not always in agreement with the melody. I first heard him on WMSV, the campus radio station at Mississippi State, and I had a hard time choosing songs to put on the playlist below-- they're all good.

Check out his myspace page here: http://www.myspace.com/josegonzalez

This song is my favorite:


3. Well, it's finals week, so obviously this week I'm procrastinating on my studying. Which is really stupid, because I'm completely done with the exception of one paper which I've known about forever, but took an extension on anyway because I just don't think I'll be able to write it before tomorrow morning. (Especially not now.) I really like being in grad school, because you get a ton of time to work on everything, but if you procrastinate like an undergrad, it will really REALLY catch up to you. However, instead of learning from my previous mistakes, I will probably be up all night on Thursday finishing this thing.

Anyway.

This week I'm feeling kinda into Charlotte Martin. I don't really know anything about her, but some of her stuff is good and some of her stuff is meh. So take a listen. (Also thanks to Nikki for introducing me to her music!)

2. This week I'm procrastinating on laundry, bathroom cleaning, and a paper about how Korean syntax works. (That's going to be a fun one.) Please procrastinate with me and enjoy the musical greatness that is Gomez, a band that gets a little play on the radio station here at MSU. They are British. They are badass. You will be a happier person for listening to them.

You can also check out their myspace page here: http://www.myspace.com/gomez

1. So, while procrastinating on the large majority of my work during this past semester, I stumbled upon some pretty awesome music. My current fav is Katy Perry, who I discovered after Perez gave her a shout-out on his blog (which I look at during the aforementioned procrastination). You can check her out on myspace music (http://www.myspace.com/katyperry/), or you can just listen to her on the music player below. Enjoy!

a blog for hayley’s boredom... and mine, really. featuring Crackazz

Original Post Date: September 30, 2008

Why hello there.

I figure it is time for an update on my life, so here we go. I am still living in Mississippi, finishing up my graduate work. For more information on what that's like, see the earlier blog about SLA papers (from my undergraduate life, but close enough).

I have no idea what I am going to do upon graduating. I would really like to just kick it on a farm with some chickens and maybe a goat, knitting all day long. I just made this scarf today, and gave it to my dear friend Christie. Happy birthday, Christie!


However, I have to get a real life. I wish it were a simple formula, such as figure B: What is the table made of? Hypothesize, test, analyze, report. It is made of leather. Scientific method made easy.


Life? Not so easy.

I realize that this blog probably makes hella* less sense than my earlier blogs, but please understand that I am blogging for the specific purpose of entertaining my dear friend H-Argh, also known as Hayley, H-Bizm, Captain HR, etc. She is like my life-blood, as she does things like putting my life in danger (figure C)



...and saving me from zombies, chupacabras, ninjas, and betches with her karate skills (figure D).


She is very bored because she has to run tests that last for 5000 seconds for work. I don't know much else about these tests, but I do know that she is still at work at almost midnight on a Tuesday.

And here I am, still awake at almost midnight on a Tuesday, writing a blog about pretty much nothing. Why? Because I still can. The impending sense of increased responsibility is upon me... I just want to make sure that I can have fun in whatever path I take next. I want to enjoy my life, not feel as though I am being dragged through it. I want to be able to stay up late and take ridiculous pictures like this one


and know that I am still young and free and ALIVE.

Is that so much to ask?

Work might make me feel dead, I imagine.

I could always move home.

Just for fun, figure F:


Go Pats!!

I'm out

*is this proper use of "hella?" It is now.

feedback sandwich for my landlord

Original Post Date: August 18, 2008

Dear Billy,

Thank you so much for painting my door and doorframe yesterday. I think it looks really nice. However, you probably should have waited until a day that was not 90 degrees with 100 percent humidity and wind speeds of 0 mph. Paint does not dry in these conditions. I also wish you would have told me that you had painted... and that you had not also painted my doorknob. It's still wet today, by the way. I would like to reiterate that it looks nice. Except where you flung white paint on the green part. That part doesn't look so good.

Love,
Ashley

http://www.wikihow.com/Give-a-Feedback-Sandwich

office hours

Original Post Date: June 11, 2008

Every week I am required to keep two office hours as part of my teaching assistantship. I chose Wednesdays from 1:00 to 3:00 as this breaks up my week nicely and allows me to have the rest of my afternoons off. Why I am required to keep these office hours is beyond me, as none of my students have ever visited me during this time unless I specifically asked them to. (To put this into perspective, I've been keeping office hours since last August.) I usually use my two hours a week to grade things and write lesson plans, as I make a point of leaving my materials on my desk at work and avoid bringing them home at all costs. I'm relatively lazy by nature, so I motivate myself through my office hours using incentives. For example, if I finish grading all the tests, I can stalk people on myspace and facebook for ten minutes before continuing on to the next task. Or sometimes the incentive will be walking to the bookstore for a cup of tea. Usually it's stalking though. But you get the idea.

Well today, while I was in my coworker's office, I noticed a Crunch bar wrapper in her trash can. I haven't eaten a Crunch bar since I was in middle school, and frankly they are not my junk-food-chocolate-bar of choice, but today I got an appetite for one and decided that it would be my incentive for writing two weeks worth of lesson plans (that I really should have already done, but I "forgot" about my office hours last week). When I finally finished my planning, I walked down the hall to the snack machine (which is conveniently located a couple doors down from my office). As I looked at the Crunch bar through the nose-printed glass, a little conversation began in my head. It went something like this:

A voice that sounded strangely like my mother: "Ashley, you know you don't really need that Crunch bar."

Me: "Yes I do."

Voice: "You're not even hungry."

Me: "Yes I am."

Voice: "But you already had your junk food today—you just ate Chick-fil-A for lunch a half hour ago."

Me: "So?"

Voice: "Don't you want to look good in your bathing suit?"

Me: "I don't care. I'll go to yoga this afternoon to work it off."

Voice: "No you won't."

Me: "Yes I will."

Voice: "No, you're going to go home and sit in front of the computer reading Perez and MSN gossip and eating M&Ms by the handful. So how about you just save those calories for then."

Me: "Shut up!!"

I then shoved my dollar into the slot of the vending machine and pressed C8 to get my Crunch bar. It did not register on the machine. I tried again. And again. And again. Finally, I gave up, pressed the coin return, took my change, and returned to my office. And here I am, sans Crunch bar.

But I am going to eat those M&Ms when I get home.

dunkin donuts update

Original Post Date: July 11, 2007

So, here is the promised Dunkin' Donuts update. (One year later. Yeah.) This year, a few things have changed about my favorite summer job:

1) One of my co-workers let Dunkin's get to her. She now wanders aimlessly throughout the store, mumbling to herself and blaming it on the "person in her ear."

2) Two of my co-workers have fewer teeth than last year.

3) Dunkin's decided that new shirts were in order. (The smoothies got old, I guess. We still make them but no longer advertise through our attire.) The latest apparel includes two colors of polo shirts better suited for the golf course than serving coffee. Yes, you read that correctly: two. I think they are called "petal" and "pumpkin" or something equally metro. I lucked out this time, too: I now have one oversized, petal-colored shirt and three pairs of pants. (Do the laundry math on that one.)

That is it for now.

oh my dog

Original Post Date: November 30, 2006

In case you may not have noticed, I recently acquired a new money-pit: my puppy, Crackers. I got her from the animal shelter in my town when she was just four weeks old, which is relatively small, but she's okay. Aside from peeing on the floor waaaaaaay too much, she's a really good dog. She knows her name, she listens to me, and she comes when I call her. She even sleeps through the night now (thank God).

Anyway, a bunch of people told me I should post more pictures of her, and because I am THE Procrastinator Extraordinaire, I'm doing just that instead of working on the three papers, two portfolios and one presentation that are due in the next four days (that I haven't started yet-- no need to panic or anything). Never mind studying for my five upcoming finals.

So here are the pictures.

This is Crackers on my bed. Stephen was nice enough to cover her up with part of my quilt so she wouldn't get cold. Awwwww. (Later on, I had to lint-roll the whole quilt. But it was a sweet gesture anyway.)

Here is another picture of Crackers on my bed. She is very, very spoiled.

She recently discovered that you can sit in the sun on the concrete floor and not be cold. She also learned how to look out the window. In the morning, she gets up, runs to the window, looks outside, and if the weather is nice, she runs to the door and barks at me. If it's raining, we go back to sleep for a while. (Please ignore the bucket of potting soil pretending to be margarita mix. Everyone knows that college students don't drink.)

At some point, she also learned that if the couch is in the sun, it's warm, too. (This is a really ugly, scratchy couch that is soooo comfortable to sit on. It belongs to my roommate, Jennifer. And oh, yeah, we have nice windows in my house. Yes we do.)

And that's all you get until I clean up the memory stick for my camera!

procrastinator extraordinaire

Original Post Date: October 28, 2006

So I'm taking this class, Second Language Acquisition (aka SLA). It's pretty interesting until I have to write a paper for it. Basically, the way it works is that I tape record a conversation with my language partner, who is Korean, and then analyze the tape later on to find out what the deal is with his spoken English. It's about as exciting as it sounds, if you can even imagine. For this paper, I decided to get a head start. Since it was due on Friday, I started writing it on Thursday night around 8:00. My desk is kind of a mess, so I decided to write the paper in bed.

I got out all my stuff so I would be really prepared to write a bitchin' paper.

That went well for about five minutes. Then I realized that I actually hadn't eaten dinner, so obviously I needed to do something about that quick, fast, and in a hurry. So I fixed myself the dinner of champions: easy mac and coffee. Carbs and caffeine should get me through the paper writing process no prob, right? Throw in some calcium-enriched cheese powder and I should be good to go.

After I ate my easy mac, I felt an urge to take pictures of myself. You know, to document the whole process for later review. I like to call this one, "How I Feel About SLA Papers."

Then I went to bed.

The next day, I gave Hayley this hat during the time that I was supposed to be writing my paper so that I could go to a Halloween party.

I finally finished the paper at 9:00 on Friday night... during the Halloween party.

Here is a video of my friends streaking across the drill field at MSU during the party.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NT9Er3VeYrc

I'm hoping for a good grade on this one.

We get all kinds in here...

Original post date: July 13, 2006 11:39 AM

We get all kinds of crazy people in Dunkin's, especially at night. People will blurt out almost anything when they have to make a snap decision, because you know, ordering coffee is a highly stressful situation. Life or death, really, for some. I get people ordering "medium large hot coffees" or forgetting their order once it's their turn all the time. But those are the normal things that happen. The more unusual ones are the best. Here is a list of the most interesting DDs occurrences since the end of May:

-A 40-something man exclaiming, "Oh, you again" when he saw that I was working. Why yes. I work during the time when you come in. How ironic.

-A 50-something man arguing with me over the price of his coffee. Through the drivethru. I reminded him that our price has not changed in over a year, while the price of gas has gone up more than a dollar. He replied, "I don't drink the gas."

-Two teenaged boys (who had just been inside the store) attempting to trip the drivethru indicator... on their bicycles. Much hilarity ensued.

-A middle-aged man asking me how my boyfriend was and then waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

-Another middle-aged man suggesting that the only reason I handed him his change was because I secretly wanted to hold his hand. I replied that this had, in fact, been my only intention and that I had wanted to hold his hand since the moment he walked into the store. This made him leave in a hurry.

-A young guy ordering five smoothies, yelling at me to hurry the whole time I was making them, then ordering two more when I brought the other five out. I gave him the look of death and told him five was plenty if he was in such a rush.

-Two middle aged guys (at the drivethru) laughing hysterically and asking if there was a camera or something watching them while they were ordering. I told them no and they laughed harder. Total sketch.

-A (very drunk) middle-aged woman actually came running behind the counter one night to order her coffee. She came staggering back in later (also behind the counter) to ask if I had anything for muscular dystrophy. I told her she should see a doctor.

I'll post more on this later... I'm sure new material won't be hard to come by.

Dunkin' Donuts Badness

Original Post Date: July 13, 2006 5:09 PM

Most of you guys probably know by now that my awesome summer job is being a coffee server at Dunkin' Donuts. Technically, my position is titled as "Sales Personnel," but that makes it sound too much like I work at the Gap or something. But no, I don't sell overpriced clothes, I just make coffee. Anyway.

Everyone keeps asking me how the "job" is going, so I figured I'd write a blog about it. You know, just to keep everyone up on the "highlights" of the coffee biz.

First of all, I get to wear a super badass uniform consisting of granny pants (khaki colored, definitely not made by the Gap) and a blue shirt that says "Smoothies" all over it. This appeals to an inside joke I have with some friends from college, so I'm all about it. I'm even going to keep the shirt when this is all said and done. Anyway, the last and most important part of my uniform is the awesome visor I get to wear. (I asked for a hat, but you know how these things go.) It's blue and has the new Dunkin's slogan on it: "America Runs on DD." As one observant person pointed out the other day, my hat has a bra size on it. Another high point of my uniform situation is that I have two smoothies shirts and three pairs of granny pants. I'm not entirely sure what the intent of my manager was in giving me two shirts and three pairs of pants, but I've interpreted it to mean that I should wear a dirty shirt to work every three days. So far, it's working out great.

Moving from myspace to blogger

Gradually moving my blogs from myspace to blogger.